Alright. I know I have been pretty absent lately, but it was for good reason. I have been working tons of overtime lately--i haven't had a day off since before the 4th of July!! So, today I have some good stories for you all.
Story #1 : West Virginia Bugs
I am from the North country--where the only bugs we have that are really scary are spiders. Okay.
I am not used to these foreign southern bugs!
This is the story of how I saw my first ever cockroach and the hilarity that ensued.
So, I was working overtime--and for this reason i was working as an officer in a hallway. Opening doors and helping with Counts and watching Chow and stuff like that.
This guy comes over and needs me to open up the janitor's closet so that he can get out the cleaning supplies--as he is paid to clean the hallways in the evenings.
I open up the padlock and pull the door open--
I kid you not there must have been a million and one cockroaches in there!!!
This wasn't the first time that i had opened that closet--but i had never ever seen a cockroach in there before. They were all tiny--about an inch or so long with long antennas.
When i saw the first one, my mind started racing--my heart was beating faster and faster, and my eyes were darting around the closet--trying to decide what to do. As my eyes paced back and forth, i just kept seeing more and more cockroaches!!!
I was so freaked out that they were going to come out of the closet at me, that i just slapped the lock back together and yelled, SHIT!!! and started running away!!!
the guy looked at me and kept laughing as he was smashing them with a mop.
Gross.
The very next day...
i get in the elevator at work to go up to the Seg. Unit.
There i am standing in the elevator minding my own buisness...and what do i see on the wall?
a big, huge, gigantic...cockroach!
Flailing its long wiry antennas at me.
Holy Shit!!
Now, what to do. I am trapped in an enclosed space with a cockroach! WTF??
I just froze!! I didn't want to get too close--in the event that it could jump. (Do cockroaches even have the ability to jump? I don't know--but in my brain at the time, it was a possibility.)
My only option was to move to the middle of the elevator and hope to hell it didn't move off of that wall.
You better believe i am going to take the stairs from now on.
Story #2: The day I became my grandmother...
If you know my Grandmother, you know she is incredibly forgetful. I guess thats part of getting older...
Well, the other day--I had some bills that were due, and a friend of mine had a Birthday--so i had some mail to send out.
I write the checks, fill out the card, and address everything.
I go to the mailbox and drop it all in.
The next day i decide to stop and check my Post Office box.
What do i find inside??
All the mail i had just sent out a few days earlier!
WTF??
Why the hell did these all come back?
Well, it would help to put a flippin' stamp on the outside.
yep. I did that.
Sent mail with no stamps on the front.
Who does that?
A 90 year old woman....and this kid.
Nice.
